if you look at this website and don't give me a little bit of money its a bit like stealing from me personally


its really crazy to think about
that only 2017 years ago
the earth was just a hot flaming ball
of gas and flames
very hot
probably smelled crazy 

and now look
here we all are
walking around or in a car
sometimes using credit card
or regular bank account 
looking at porno websites 
or lying down 

sometimes doing small worship
to a thing or animal
what happens when you die
do you become a ghost
horny to spook
(do you use ghost money?)

all of our parents had sex at least one time
and also many people before them 
had sex


what mystery will unfold with each new day 
i dont really know 
just have to i guess see what happens 
and hope its not shit


My Boss

I have been hired at a job 
in small open concept loft office
as digital media professional 

I am provided with one computer to look at
but my position
consists mainly of assembling various desks and chairs 
from ikea style store
watched @ every moment by boss
when i have finished 
he looks to me 
and asks if i think i have done a good job
i say 
but actually, he points out

i have made a small mistake
which requires me to start from the beginning 
putting together the thing
over and over again 
the open concept loft space receives much direct sunlight 
it is for sure over 200 degrees in here
cannot take my blouse off though 
it would be unprofessional 
what is this soft hell 
what is this reality 


Law and Order

I am a professional film and background TV artist 
in law and order Special Victims Unit TV show
I play low level, non-speaking police officer 
working in fake TV police office 
surrounded by people pretending that they have just done crimes
the camera slowly zooms in on me
right into my little face
i have become an actual pig
a small delicate fece falls from my pig ass
where is my sty 
who am i 
what am i doing here 



Imagine all the food you have every eaten 
all together in a room in your condo 
for me, the food is mostly bread
so i am pretty tired all the time
I wonder if anyone else eats garbage 
100% of the time
like me

how many beers to professional athletes drink
before each sports match or race or whatever 
me, it would probably be at least 5
because i would be very nervous 




what if everybody had a little flag just for them 
that u can design yourself 
with a kit given to you by local goverment
you can wave it 
or even just leave at home 
and give it disrespect
and forget about it 




Bad Man

I often wonder
if I am a bad man
is there a small little devil inside of me
(or u?)
will he ever have release



having to carry all the waste 
that you produce everyday
with you all the time
just in one big stinky back pack 
or stink trolley
would this be a better system 
for the earth and for ourselves 
or would it just be different 
maybe there is no point in me thinking 
about stuff like this




I have a dream 
of working for local waste treatment plant 
working there at least four days per week 
rising slowly through the ranks
to an assistant managerial or full managerial postion
with every promotion i get even larger
filled with more joy and purpose 
I rise above them all 
turning all human waste
into pure gold 
pure alchemy  
Just want to becoming an irresistible beam of pure light 
not too wet or too dry 
pretty comfortable 
warming all food that needs warming 
wrapped around the supple bodies of all the beautiful people
who Iive here
saying whats up to everyone 



Sometimes I like to think about being a guy
at the base of a beautiful tall waterfall
i remove my tiny weird penis from my pants 
and urinate directly into the eternal stream 
we are one now 
I wonder 
will i ever get married 
what will happen in the rest of my life 
i am saying these words now out loud
recording them into cell phone 
what the fuck am i doing 
Just a simple clown/jester 
without much meaningful work experience 
very close to 30 years old 



if every hour 
was like, 70 minutes long
instead of the usual length
which is about 60 minutes 




Hi its me 
I am just a little ATM machine
sitting in back of local store 
people come to see me all the time
day and night
and they tickle my tummy buttons
and I give them some little papers from my bottom
Then they go and take them home
i think they used it as food?
what a crazy world!
i hope they are happy with my droppings



Once when i was travelling 
on long and sonic bus ride 
i open up my phone
my constant small companion
knower of secret 
and check weather app
to know the weather outside the bus I am in
and then it tells me the town i am currently in 
is actually called “Penis”


One Day

I still sometimes hope 

that one day in probably deep distant future
i can have a child
created with my partner 
whom i met through reality-based TV show 
the child is named “Customer”
they continue my legacy 
as vessel for capital and money 
continue to buy all the things that i cannot 
continue to incur positive ratings 
with different websites 
and telephone  applications
i wonder what it will be like
i can’t really ever know
because i am of course, a dead guy
at this time.


Imagine you are a cloud
floating through space so peaceful
high above the earth
so peaceful

you are made of very tiny particles of water
sticking together and coming apart

imagine you are food
being eaten by small mammal
pushed by various small muscles
through a complex and evolved digestive tract
you are shitted out
returned to the earth

imagine your parents having sex together
they are having a good time

they are making a baby
the baby is you
how does it feel
how will you live your life


Hello and Welcome
To my bucket
here it is, pretty big
I use it to collect my waste
all kinds of waste

it also has a nice inspirational saying on it
my bucket says
“Live, Laugh, Love”
these are all things I aspire to do
when not excreting
I look to it sometimes
during my collection
and i think
this is nice
thank you to the factory
that has created this bucket
just for me


There is a new situation comedy
its takes place 100% inside garbage dump
it is multi camera, with laugh track
like, two and half men style
one character
is completely covered in human and animal fece
his name is simply, shit
the show is over
credit roll
i am the executive producer

Number One Sports Fan

I am at the big huge televised sport game
the game is a non-specific ball based game
all the sport fanatics wave huge sings, encouraging team
both teams play very well
definitely at a professional level
they are compensated very fairly

the camera that is broadcasting the game finds me
i have brought my own sign
i made at home
but it is so small
smaller than one size of legal paper
nestled deep in the palm of my hand
camera zooms in on me
so slow
but with purpose
zooms all the way
takes approx 90 seconds
now you can read my sign
its says
please help me now


Thank you
to all animals that make egg
you are my diet

but in a way
we all make egg
we all make our own world
squeeze it out
through our own minds
or from our lower hole
to try and make this reality
impossible to ever truly understand another egg within a egg
thing within another thing

Dog Dick

I am biking home in early morning
coming back from the large indifferent music club
someone is walking their mid-sized dog
the dog begins to pee
i look at the dog’s penis
i think
“whoa that dog has a huge dick”
the rising sunlight catches
on the last few drops of pee
dripping from the dogs penis
it exists only for a moment
here in my life
trapped in the domain of the imbecile


Did the man who vommited on this atm machine
(last nite? vomit look old)
take out any money before or after his release?

how much money
is it more money than i have
how is he more rich than me
i wonder where he gets his money from?
job or inherited familial wealth?
maybe somewhere else?
something to think about


what is life
how is life
filled with so many delicate, boring moments
I think about theses times often
the thousands of hours
here on Earth I have spent
in a line up to buy a thing i don’t even want
waiting for a socially acceptable opportunity
to excrete waste from my body waiting for movie to be released so i can illegally download it
when will this be over
is true freedom ever possible
to be liberated from this mortal coil
to float free amongst the heavens
like a medium sized bird or predator drone
operated by lorde God
seeking only truth and beauty
only to party and worship all the time


Imagine a new reality-based TV show
where you, the contestant
just have to have sex with a big gross wet bug
the prize is not huge
something like
18 000 Canadian dollars
the bug seems very reasonable though
like maybe you could have a relationship
if you had met in a different context

Orientation Ceremony

I am at power point based orientation ceremony
at new job
master goes through his slides
his body is at the end of youth
covered only in the thin common rags of western business man
I of course inadvertently imagine him nude immediately
how and what does he jerk it to
is there a possibility
that at some point
in out mutually unconnected history
we have both been masturbating
at the same time both simultaneously, unknowingly
jerking our own individual way
unto brief fleeting ecstasy


I have just downloaded a new program from the web
for my personal computer
in it i can make a little guy
and in exchange for time and also money
participate in the minutiae of life
w/ other guys from web
it asks me to name my guy
i think
all of human history stretching out before me
ahead, the complex and sublime possibilities of the technological universe
i choose:



RIP Bird

Once I was walking outside
and a large sick bird flew into my head
and then almost immediately
like, one moment later

I wonder
what was his little life like also
did my head kill him
I’m sorry buddy
your fault though

you looked sick
but also in death I hope you feel some release

There no way you could have known this
but only moments earlier
i had been fired, via email
from a job doing data entry

for a doomed start up company

yes, i had ostensibly stolen some money from them but really
not a large or important amount of money

even now, its hard for me to see the logic in all of it

goodbye bird
i hardly knew ye



Imagine an episode of the TV show fraser
where the eponymous ‘Fraser’
is very horny
and think he has sex

in a very dark room
but actually he just performed sex w a pile of dirt he is very ashamed
Niles finds out
so does dad and dad’s dog
Fraser regrets what he has done
credits roll
executive producer is me


Porno Movie

Imagine the day
when technologically advanced aliens
finally visit out planet earth
they have travelled many light years
but its like, 2017 or whatever
they know about earth and humans
but from the only media that has reached their home planet
which is only hardcore pornography
they think this is what we are all about

all world leaders assemble
to greet the first little alien guy
who has only seen porno
He takes off his little space helmet
Earth president goes to shake his weird hand

alien guy says “fuck me”
“i eat cum”


Bad Mall

I am at the bad mall
everyone in local area dislikes their experience here
hope and pray it will become condo
buy no, it remains open
in defiance of the people

I am in the food area
trying to enjoy cup of water
it is morning or maybe afternoon
my body hurts for inexplicable reason
i look down and see i am transforming
my body big and covered with thin hair
i am a horse now
I break all furniture in the mall
everyone applauds and kisses me
I love them now
i am finally free
to do whatever i want
to pursue grain
worship new and challenging pantheon of deities




Do you know the energy drink Monster Energy
it is a really popular energy drink
from America, i’m pretty sure
do u ever think about
how maybe it might be made by an actual monster
or a demon
or his family
what do they put in it
i guess like taurine and stuff
life is so crazy
sometimes it is really fucking bullshit
so boring
sometimes it is OK
we are on a wild ride
individually though life


A promise 2 myslef

I am so excited to go to sleep
and to wake up tomorrow
with my computer beside me
it is still on from last night
it has become very hot
fan buzzes very loudly
it needs water




I am an artist
hi its me
I am making some pretty crazy things
right here in my studio

over 200 years of recorded art history
is being channeled right now through
all the way to the tip
of my paintbrush
what will i make next

maybe a picture
of a dog
or a building
maybe something else even
i don’t know



Little magazine

imagine if everyone had a small magazine about them
that they gave to you when you met them
why is the world not more beautiful
why is it not exactly what I want



Guy on my flight to Lativa

There is a guy
first i see him at the airport
he has shirt with reference to the show
“big bang theory”
the shirt says “bazinga”
i keep on saying shirt out loud by accident
we are seated together
i see now he has some pee on his pants

when will our lives intertwine again, if ever
what is he doing right now



A good movie idea

imagine a movie
i have made it
it is a mid-2000s slacker bro adult man child style broad comedy
several 30 yr old men
live together in frat house in the near future
opening scene is long montage of cool and helpful future gadgets
also visual evidence that the future is neoliberalist utopia

after opening montage main guy leaves for the day
when he does a prison guard says goodbye to him
his is actually a criminal
cool bro frat house is a prison
in the future
everyone is in jail




I am at berghain
biggest and most famous club in middle europe
in the line up
so nervous
why did i bring my horse here



I am walking from bus station to huge party
walk will take at least 2 hours
see vry beautiful woman in car
car is literally filled with garbage
i am also unrelatedly carrying giant bag of garbage
what is she doing
will i ever see her again


Customer service @ best buy barclay's center

O god i hate this place
i am so sweaty
have definitely lost all control of autonomic function
we are all the same here
hundreds of people
in the darkness
feeding money and food
directly into the mouth and anus of the best buy

O god i hate this feeling
to want or desire anything and not have it immediately



Personal reflection

what is life
how is life
filled with so many delicate, boring moments
I think about theses times often
the thousands or hours
here on Earth I have spent
in a line up to buy a thing i don’t even want
waiting for a socially acceptable opportunity to excrete waste from my body
waiting for movie to be released so i can illegally download it
when will this be over
is true freedom ever possible
to be liberated from this mortal coil
to float free amongst the heavens
like a medium sized bird or predator drone
operated by lorde God
seeking only truth and beauty
only to party and worship all the time




Sometimes i think about all the people on the Earth
who are super horny right now
thats like, so many people

imagine they are all together
at one all-inclusive sex resort
or like, one sex themed carnival cruise lines boat
all food and drinks included at no additional cost
they are having sex all the different ways
looking at cool new porno magazines
also probably sometimes taking pills and sex cremes
to help prolong the human sexual experience

they are all nude
or, alternatively wearing small amounts of clothing
that just accentuate their nudity
eventually becoming one large gyrating mass of genitals
also buttholes
and to look upon it
is like looking at the worlds most alternative porno website
on your phone
will riding crowded bus
it is a secret just for you and me
to share together
this is what i think about sometimes



Once at least six years ago
I saw a guy buying like, literally 300 mountains dew(s)
like full size mountain dew bottles
not the ones designed for individual consumption

I think about him everyday
what is his life like
also what does he do with all the liquid
all of that dew
is it for a party or event
or just for himself
does he become nude with it
is he drinking it on toilet
fuelling some eternal godless cycle of consumption and excretion

o god
i wish i had a mirror
like, a magic mirror
through which i could see into everyones mind
and figure out what the fuck is up with them



Imagine you are burning in hell
like, right now
some celebrities are also there
but mostly it is non famous people

maybe you think
will in anyone make a requiem for me
burning in hell
will anyone make a dubstep multimedia experience
honouring my life

I guess I have worshipped the god Pan
lord of rustic music
he is like a little hobbit or something
was definitely was worshipping the wrong god
pretty much this whole time

I feel pretty embarrassed
no one look at me

Movie Idea

I like to imagine a movie 
where two medieval  serfs 
from lower Germany 
are transported through some device to the contemporary bushwick independent music scene
for one weekend 
at first they fear everyone and everything 
but then find the true beauty of their new surroundings
maybe one of them has sex for the fist time I guess 
eventually the return to saxony 
having both changed and grown as people 

But it's a movie 



Food Court

I am in the food court of the mall
it is lunch time and people begin to fill the food stalls
they go to New York fires also Manchu wok 
I know that secretly all the food come form the same food machine 
hidden deep within the mall

I am studying for big test
typing fervently on Mac book pro
I spill huge coffee
steaming brown liquid pouring all over the keys
filling the computer with hot coffee water
I take off all of my clothes now
use them to clean the mess
computer is still broken 
now I am nude
I think "oh I will have to call apple genius"

I take the test 
results are unremarkable 


My Dream

Last night I have a dream
I am at stand up comedy club
it it expensive 
I am sitting in the middle of comedy auditorium 

stand up comedian notices me because of my glasses 
he starts to make jokes about me

he says a have v small penis
also i am a loser
he says that morally I am also a bad person
the summation of my entire life is also meaningless 

I try to leave but he follows me in large car 
continuing thorough examination of my life and choices

why do I dream of this



Timbaland alone in his music studio

Timbaland is all alone in his music studio
it is very late at night and he is trying to finish a brand new pop/hiphop
hit for young artist
he is recording his own voice doing little yells
they will be deep in the mix
always leaving a part of himself in every song he makes
he is sad
now he is crying
what does his life mean
he has made very popular songs played in clubs all over the world
but what does it truly mean to touch another person
to connect w/ another human

Timbaland eats a whole bag of food
he is tired now
his eyes slowly close
he goes to sleep
he dreams of a world where things can be different




I am at Superbowl
my long and very thin hair is cascading down my shoulders
football is about to begin
but it never beings
instead everybody in 60 000 capacity stadium
becomes nude
they have forgotten about sports and are now filled with erotic energy
everyone begins to have sex together
all the different ways
there is universal pleasure and harmony
every member of each football team has died
but they watch on from heaven in peace
everybody take pictures with phone and ipad



Nite club

I am in a club it is full of people
I go to the centre of the dance floor
I become nude
I am crouching down
My anus and naked penis exposed
My rectum quivers
I release several brown tubes of shit
I feel nothing 
No one feels anything 
We all die, eventually 



Mcdonalds toilet after night of heavy drinking

Mcdonalds toilet after night of heavy drinking
cradle under me now
cradle to my world
what have i done to ye



Man who drives by me on the snowplow
I am walking home at night
his shirt says "FUCK"
we are both white men
I wonder if he has known love
I wonder what truth is to him


Small me

I dream of flying 
I am a molecule so small no one can see me
I watch people while they toilet


Cash for Gold

He who sells the cash for Gold
Shall retain some of its power, to use as he see fit in daily life



A reporter is talking
two dogs fuck each other in background
they don't care
u watch


The Real World

Welcome to the Real World House
it is filled w/ single young ppl looking to hook up also find themselves
sometimes they are drunk and fight or have sex together.
real world house slowing filling with fecally contaminated water
secretly it is built on an offshore drilling platform
thousands of miles out into the Pacific Ocean
what is going to happen


My restaurant

In the future I have a restaurant
I am the owner at least partially
it is a good restaurant
we serve traditional food
Cheeseburger, pancakes etc.
but in this restaurant all the seats are toilets
so it is easier for you, the customer

at nite I use a power washer to clean everything
there is a drain in the floor
start everyday new and shining
filled with hope and positive energy


Big News

Win a million dollars in lottery the make
Then make statue update about it

No likes.
No comments.



I am driving on highway
I am in my bright yellow Hummer car
it is 100% electric especially made for me
I have a custom licence plate
its says "ZZZZZZZ"
when you drive behind me you wonder
"what that mean"
then you see I am in my car asleep


Returning a smoke machine

I am returning a small wet smoke machine I have rented
the man who works at smoke machine rental place
looks like small 200 year old Carlos Santana from Santana

I wonder about his life when I am not there
I wonder what I would be like to be a rock or a tree
living for hundreds of years
checking stuff out
stoic and unmoving
would I have a better time, i wonder





Copyright Jason H 2016